This is my pride and joy! Born April 12, 2010 at 12:30 AM at 9 lbs, 1 oz; his name is Malachi. Even though sometimes I'm not able to do my schoolwork, I still love him. Right now, he is just the sickest little boy in the world. He's sneezing, congested, hot and has a cough. If his doctor was open today, I would so take him, but he has an appointment in the morning. I can't stand seeing him sick, but he doesn't act like it. Through all the snot and boogers that fly when he sneezes, he always smiles and plays around. He loves to talk, wave at people, clap his hands and just be a boy! He's a little ladies man, I must say; I can't take him into a public place without a woman wanting to hold him and he just flirts with her. He's great to cuddle with because he's so chunky and squishy (lol). He's 7 months and he's about 22 lbs, I think. Hopefully he'll wake up soon and I can give him a warm bath so he can breath better.

Nowadays,

So the new term has begun, WHOOPEEE! =) I don't know whether I should be happy or aggravated since both of these emotions are something that I feel all the time throughout my time in school. It seems like whenever I don't have any help with my homework while someone watches my son, I just don't want to do anything, but take care of him. Lately he has been really sick; he has a runny nose, sneezing, coughing and he's congested really bad. He has a doctor's appointment on Thursday, but the way I am with him, I just want to take him to the ER and find out then and there. I hate seeing my baby sick, I guess it's a mother's instinct. Things have taken a turn in my personal life though; I've been doing things that I haven't been able to do and it took 7 months for things to change. I've had friends come over and hang out with me and I've been going out and hanging with friends. I mean, I love sitting at home and taking care of my baby, but sometimes seeing the same things 24/7 is kind of making me crazy. This term I have College Comp II again and Intro to Public Health...again! I didn't do so well last term so I'm taking them over this term; I'm determined not to fail this time! My mother has finished her Associates' in Medical Billing and Coding and now is taking Medical Transcription through Colorado Tech University online. That's great since we have classes at different times and I can focus more on my work. Well got to go, the congestion is taking over my son! TTYL classmates.

Lately,

I know it seems like I haven't been posting any blogs for class, but there has been a lot going on. I feel like I should give up, you know? Just throwing in the towel with school right now would make my life a little bit easier, but it's not going to help in the long run. I just want my son to have the best in life and staying in school is going to help me get him the things he needs. I know I should stop being so selfish, but, honestly, my 3 online classes are frustrating me and making me want to take classes in a regular classroom. The only thing wrong with taking classes at the community college instead of online is that I won't have anybody to watch my son. I don't know why, but I get nervous when it comes to leaving him in a daycare or with a babysitter. He has his own schedule; he's his own person. I got to get over my insecurities with him, but lately, you can't really trust anybody out there anymore. People killing, molesting, sexually assaulting and kidnapping kids these days and I don't want anything to happen to my little man. I feel that's just a first-time mother insecurity that I think all mothers go through sometime in life. Other than that, my parents are having a hard time together. There's no talk of divorce, but I just want the arguing to end. My pops is being insecure towards my mom and my mother has been unemployed for the past year. She's been watching my little man, but she might have a job in the bag. It's too much to soak in, but I know I don't have to stay here. I'm trying so hard to get my life together that I've completely forgotten about doing great in school. I'm still trying to get a grasp on things now that I'm a mother too, you know; I'm trying to figure out who my real friends are since I've lost a lot due to my being pregnant. I've found out that I currently have only one friend who has stuck by my side the entire time and still holding the title of best friend! =) She's been trying to push me to do my schoolwork, but I haven't had the time. My mother is in school Monday-Thursday and my dad is in a contemporary christian band who has practices throughout the week. I have a little brother who helps me out a little bit, but he has homework and he does boy things, which is do nothing, but play video games. I'm still going to continue school and I'm determined to graduate, but there's a few obstacles that I have to get over. I don't want to drop out and I refuse to do so. With help from my teachers, I plan to go far in life.

Hello there!

So this is my first time using a blog; one of my friends has a tumblr, but until then, I never really knew what it felt like to express myself through the internet to people who actually want to read what I got to say. Well, I'm a very open person; I can't stand people that got something to say, but never say it to my face; this happens to me a lot. Apparently, nobody wants to say anything to me, but they always got something to say. It gets aggravating, but some people will never learn. I'm an easily judged person because I'm about to turn 19, have a 4 month old, live with my parents and I'm not married. As always, the father of my child wants to do whatever he wants to do and I'm just going to let him do it because I already know that he is going to miss my son and I when we are gone! I know that I haven't done all of the right things in life, but I know how to take care of myself and my baby. I don't like to be looked down at because of my situation; well, I don't look at it like a situation, it's just a life lesson that's teaching me how to be responsible person as well as a mother. So when you read this and "look" at me, don't look at me as a failure; look at me as a human being just trying to make it in society.