Lately,

I know it seems like I haven't been posting any blogs for class, but there has been a lot going on. I feel like I should give up, you know? Just throwing in the towel with school right now would make my life a little bit easier, but it's not going to help in the long run. I just want my son to have the best in life and staying in school is going to help me get him the things he needs. I know I should stop being so selfish, but, honestly, my 3 online classes are frustrating me and making me want to take classes in a regular classroom. The only thing wrong with taking classes at the community college instead of online is that I won't have anybody to watch my son. I don't know why, but I get nervous when it comes to leaving him in a daycare or with a babysitter. He has his own schedule; he's his own person. I got to get over my insecurities with him, but lately, you can't really trust anybody out there anymore. People killing, molesting, sexually assaulting and kidnapping kids these days and I don't want anything to happen to my little man. I feel that's just a first-time mother insecurity that I think all mothers go through sometime in life. Other than that, my parents are having a hard time together. There's no talk of divorce, but I just want the arguing to end. My pops is being insecure towards my mom and my mother has been unemployed for the past year. She's been watching my little man, but she might have a job in the bag. It's too much to soak in, but I know I don't have to stay here. I'm trying so hard to get my life together that I've completely forgotten about doing great in school. I'm still trying to get a grasp on things now that I'm a mother too, you know; I'm trying to figure out who my real friends are since I've lost a lot due to my being pregnant. I've found out that I currently have only one friend who has stuck by my side the entire time and still holding the title of best friend! =) She's been trying to push me to do my schoolwork, but I haven't had the time. My mother is in school Monday-Thursday and my dad is in a contemporary christian band who has practices throughout the week. I have a little brother who helps me out a little bit, but he has homework and he does boy things, which is do nothing, but play video games. I'm still going to continue school and I'm determined to graduate, but there's a few obstacles that I have to get over. I don't want to drop out and I refuse to do so. With help from my teachers, I plan to go far in life.